How do I write this review? How do I pick the pieces of my heart and soul off the ground, find my barrings and write something down? And last but not least, how do I write a review on a story that I will give 5 stars to and admit that I didn't even finish. I didn't even make it half way. How do I convince you, the unknowing reader, to take a chance on a book that I couldn't even read the last lines of?
I'm not sure, but I'm going to try.
I am a huge Carmen Jenner fan. Sugartown addiction, MC perfection and M/M bliss had me chomping at the bit for her next adventure. Little did I know, I will FOREVER be cautions and apprehensive one clicking this amazing author.
Will I one click though? Absolutely, without a doubt...YES. I mean this is the amazing CARMEN JENNER.
Now...this book. This story. This Adventure. Where do I begin.
I read a lot. I love the world of romance and I love the world of fiction. BUT, with that being said, every reader, I believe, has their hard limits. I know I do. I love a story that takes me to a different place and time. I love when the girl gets the guy of her dreams. I love feeling like I am apart of the ride. And I love a happily ever after. I don't even mind shedding tears....
But, when my hard limits come in to play. I can't...I just can't.
I realized at some point something in this story was very wrong. I felt that uneasiness in my gut. No, it's not that time of the month so where is this cramping coming from. Why do I feel sick to my stomach. Something is very wrong.
My gut instinct told me to skip to the end. When I get that feeling something is way off, that I am about to be blindsided and not in a good way, I am that reader that authors probably want to bitch slap. I go to the end just to see if my heart will still be intact. I don't do this very often. As a matter of fact, I only recall one other time that this happened. I owned up to it then and I'm owning up to it know. The only difference is the endings were quite different. One I could live with and one I couldn't.
Hard limit's breached. Notice I did not say limit...singular. I said limits. This is because every single thing I don't want to happen in a story did. Not only did it happen, it came at me like a fucking brick wall. I found myself, chin hitting the floor, skimming through the pages backwards. Skimming this story from the end. It was like there were words jumping out at me. They might has well have been highlighted because I noticed immediately. I don't need to read the story from beginning to end. I know what happens. I know that my heart would NOT have been able to handle a story like this. Even skimming my heart dropped. I noticed my self flipping the pages in reverse quickly and I said out loud, “No. No no no no no no. Please no.”
Now, I gave it 5 stars because if a story I can't even finish has me crying uncontrollably, enough to where I want to scream and yell and throw things...it's wonderfully written. I fell for each one of these characters. I read enough to be sucked in and that's why the hard limits were even more gut wrenching to witness. How can I give it less stars just because there were topics and situations in here that I don't like to read about? This author brought her A-game.
If you like ugly cry...the kind of cry where the hits just keep on comin'? Grab this book. If you are a Carmen Jenner fan, which I would say almost everyone is, buy this book.
Carmen, you gutted me. I know I have told you that in the past. But this time, I mean it. I love you, I hate you. I'm mad at you. I want to hug you because you had to live through every moment of writing this, I was allowed to skim.
I will be hungover for weeks on a book I couldn't even finish.
A 5 star read that I want to completely erase from my memory.
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